


Lies Never Lead to Forgiveness

by ConsultingTimeLord



Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-02 16:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsultingTimeLord/pseuds/ConsultingTimeLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A deep-seated prejudice leaves Thor with an inner war to fight when he discovers his brother's true lineage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Loki used to sleepwalk as a child. Thor never said anything to him, never let his brother know that he would crawl out of bed at night and walk the halls of their palace. He didn’t follow him, just watched curiously from his golden-framed bed as his little brother left on an unknown nightly adventure. That was until his curiosity became too much to bear.

One night, after their mother had tucked them into bed and told them a story of their father’s adventures, Thor lay in wait for Loki to fall asleep. It was a difficult fight as his eyelids felt as heavy as Mjolnir did every time he tried to lift it when his father wasn’t looking. His soft, feathery bed felt so warm and comforting, enveloping him in fluffy covers that attempted to lull him to sleep. But he was Thor Odinson, he told himself, he was stronger than sleep and he would prevail. And prevail, he did.

He kept himself awake with thoughts of battle. Thor liked to imagine fighting the evil Frost Giants of Jotunheim in order to defend Asgard and his family. The thought filled him with pride. It was less than an hour’s passing when he finally heard his brother’s soft snoring and only a few minutes more when the rustle of Loki’s covers reached his ears.

Thor shot up in bed, a newfound energy rousing him from his drowsy stupor. He watched as his little brother snaked out from between his covers to land softly on two feet on the floor. His green bed clothes were crumpled around his lean form and his black hair stuck out at all angles. He padded across the floor with his bare feet, eyes half open and heavy-lidded.

Thor clambered out of bed, taking great pain in being as quiet as possible while his sleeping brother moved as swiftly and soundlessly as silence itself, just as he always did. He allowed Loki to steal a few steps ahead before following after him, moving as his brother did but with a lot more effort. They crept through the dark, looming halls that gleamed in the day like the bright lights upon being welcomed into Valhalla.

The unconscious Loki appeared to have a specific destination in mind as he glided across the polished floors, past the weapons room and the throne room. Thor wasn’t sure where his little brother was walking to until he stopped in front of the double doors that towered over the two small boys. Loki only hesitated for a moment before pushing on the doors with all his strength. When that didn’t work, he stepped back, holding out his hands as a light green glow formed around them. His pale brow creased in concentration, seeming to put a lot of effort in holding up the air, when the doors slowly creaked open.

The door allowed for a space the size of a small child so that Loki could easily slip through. Thor had a harder time, the frame of his body being wider than his brother’s, but he still managed to squeeze through as well. On the other side, he watched as Loki walked down the long hall, heading towards the end where the Casket sat.

The usual guards were absent from their posts, counting on the Destroyer’s protection to keep the box with a light blue glow safe. Loki walked straight toward the Casket as if magnetically drawn to it, his arms outstretched. Thor could only think of how angry their father would be if he found out Loki was messing with the Casket. The last thing he wanted was his brother in trouble so he raced down the hall after him, intending to stop him before he laid his hands on it. Thor reached out to pull him away but by the time he reached the end of the hall, Loki already had a firm grasp on the handles.  
“Loki! Brother, no!”

He wrapped his fingers around Loki’s arm and yanked him away, his grip breaking easily. Thor turned his brother to face him and dropped his arm as if it burned his hand. He scrambled back, staring at the ice blue that stained his brother’s skin, the odd markings that scarred it, and the eyes of dark red blood. He looked just like a Jotun the way his father described them. A Frost Giant.  
“Loki?” 

Terror was written plainly on his face. His mouth fell open in shock as he watched the blue wash from his brother’s skin on its own, receding away to where it had been hidden before he touched the Casket. Loki blinked at the sound of his name, swaying on his feet. He groaned softly, reaching up to rub his eyes of the groggy feeling that consumed him. He blinked a few more times before turning his tired green eyes toward his scared brother.  
“Thor?” He glanced to his right, eyes widening in bemusement when he realized they weren’t in their room. “Why are we here? What happened?”  
“Wh-what’s wrong with you?” Thor said, backing up even further.  
“Brother?” Loki stepped forward, reaching out to Thor. “What—”  
“Don’t touch me! You… you’re a monster!”

Thor scurried away from Loki’s reach and ran from the room, slipping through the door easier on his way out due to being driven by panic. Loki watched him go, his face the epitome of confusion. He looked down at his pajamas and bare feet and up at the softly glowing Casket before following after his brother.  
He walked back to their room, pausing hesitantly at the slightly ajar door. “Thor?”

Loki waited for a response but none came. He pushed open the door and walked in, looking for his golden-haired big brother only to find him curled up in bed, clearly pretending to be asleep. Loki frowned and prodded his brother in the side to get him to react, to stop pretending, but he was adamant in his façade.  
Loki huffed. “Fine, Thor. I know not what I did but I’m sorry. It scared you and I never meant to do such a thing. Goodnight, brother.”

He left Thor’s bedside and crawled back into his own bed, curling up under the covers to try and fall back to sleep. Thor clutched his own covers tightly around him, a feeling of regret coursing through his body. He opened his eyes when he was sure Loki had walked away and stared into the blackness of the surrounding night.

He thought of Loki in his Jotun guise, completely unaware of how he appeared. His brother didn’t know what was wrong. His tired, blood red eyes were seared into his mind, as were his wide green ones that sparkled like emeralds. No matter the color, Loki remained his little brother. The same brother he defended from mocking words because he couldn’t fight as well as the other children. The same brother who would use his silver tongue to talk them both out of trouble when their play had gone too far. He still felt rage toward the Frost Giants and their treachery but Loki was harder to be angry with.

Thor raised his head from his pillow and looked in the direction of Loki’s bed, straining his ears to hear the signs of sleep. The room was silent; even Loki’s breathing was too shallow for him to hear. He stayed in bed, thinking for a few moments, before climbing ungracefully out. His feet thudded against the hard floor as he walked up to Loki’s bed to see him burrowed in his blankets so only the outline of his body could be seen. He poked the small, compacted form, hoping he would respond but knowing he wouldn’t. Not after the way he treated him.  
“I’m sorry, brother. My words were cruel and I didn’t mean them. What I spoke of wasn’t your fault.” Thor plucked at the hem of his red shirt as he spoke. 

When his words evoked no response, he peeled back the covers and climbed into the large bed. He searched for Loki beneath the blankets and found him easily. He was still trying to ignore Thor but Thor wouldn’t accept that. He wrapped his arms around his brother’s midsection and pulled him into a hug. Thor spoke a thousand words with his actions the way Loki could do the same in a sentence. Loki forgave him almost immediately.  
“It’s all right, Thor,” he said, half wishing his brother would let go already.

It was a few more moments before he did let go, collapsing onto one of the many pillows with the intent to stay there for the night. The sons of Odin curled up to sleep, comforted by the fact that they had forgiven one another. Loki was the first to drop off; still unaware that anything was ever wrong. Thor followed soon after with one last thing to say. He just didn’t want to say it for Loki to hear.  
“I still love you, Loki, no matter what you are.”


	2. Chapter 2

The naiveté of childhood allowed for the quick acceptance of love over blood but, as the two grew older, it became harder to see which was more important. As a teen, Loki tended to be mischievous almost to the point of treachery. He played pranks on his friends and brother that began as harmless and ended as disastrous for all involved parties. No matter how much trouble he managed to get himself into, he came out on the other end with a smile on his face. This was the case for all his mischief except for one particular incidence. 

A tournament of strength, will, stamina, and honor was the talk of Asgard. The finest warriors from all around gathered to participate and, as with any battle, Thor Odinson was the warrior to beat. He tore through the competition like the sharpest blade to flesh, even without the aid of his precious hammer, a weapon so powerful that it was banned from use in the event. Thor easily climbed his way to the final battle, bringing pride to Odin and the city. However, even a great fighter has his doubts.

The sons of Odin stood on a balcony of their palace, looking over the golden railing at their great, shining city. They were youthful, stuck somewhere between the boys they once were and the men they would become. Loki brushed his long, black hair from his face as he leaned against the rail, the green fabric of his cape fluttering around him. He appeared carefree while his brother paced nervously behind him, muttering to himself.  
“Does something trouble you, brother? It’s so hard to be sure,” Loki said, turning around with a smirk.  
“I can appreciate your attitude on most occasions but this is not one of them,” Thor snapped, continuing his pacing.  
“My apologies,” he replied, dropping his smile. “I meant no disrespect, of course. In all seriousness, what is the problem that ails you so?”

Thor paused, staring hard at his brother in hopes of discerning his true intentions. He loved his brother but his trust in him had begun to waver. Only when he felt satisfied that Loki was truly concerned did he speak. “It’s this tournament. The final battle.”  
“Do you doubt your strength over a frivolous game?” He crossed his arms and leaned his back against the rail. “Where did all of your famed confidence go?”  
“You know this is more than that, Loki. I fight for honor.”   
“As a son of Odin, you already possess it. There is no need to concern yourself with such matters. Your victory is assured ten times over,” Loki said, sounding incredibly certain.   
“Simply because I am a son of Odin?” Thor asked, halting his pacing as a frown formed on his face.  
“No, dear brother, because you are Thor, god of thunder. Still, if you insist on worrying yourself sick over it, I can guarantee to find you a weapon that will help you win the fight with ease.”  
Thor looked Loki over, hesitant in his offer. “Why would you do such a thing?”  
“Because you are my brother and I love you. If you need such a weapon to feel confident, I will get it for you.”

Thor hit his brother’s shoulder with affection, causing Loki to lose his balance and stumble. Before he had time to recover, Thor pulled him into a tight hug that succeeded in restricting his air supply. While struggling for breath, he managed to half reciprocate, patting Thor on the back with a pained smile. He was able to survive through the show of appreciation as Thor let go and held him at arm’s length.  
“Thank you, Loki. Your kindness towards me knows no bounds.”  
“It’s no problem. The weapon you seek isn’t far at all. You shall have it in your hands before tomorrow’s battle begins.”  
Thor smiled sincerely, leaving Loki after one last slap on the back. Loki turned and continued to watch over the city of Asgard, a mischievous smirk gracing his expression.

 

Asgard was alive with excitement on the morning of the final battle. The entire city and more gathered in the palace where an arena had been set up especially for the occasion. Odin and Frigga were seated and waiting on their own terrace with an empty chair for Loki beside them. The size of the room accommodated places for all who would arrive to watch the fight. The walls echoed the thunder of chatter as everyone attempted to make their way to an open seat.

Thor stood outside of the arena room, hands behind his back, appearing stoic on the outside with the exception of his frantically searching eyes. He resisted the urge to pace by digging the nails of one hand into the flesh of the other to keep his mind distracted of it. The hope his brother would arrive waned. He was about to walk into the arena without the weapon Loki spoke so highly of when he appeared beside him, soundless as ever. He visibly relaxed until he saw that his brother’s hands were empty.  
“Where is the weapon you promised?” Thor asked, his nerves touching his voice.  
“Worry not,” Loki said with a reassuring smile. “I retrieved it successfully. It’s in your room.”  
“My room? Why not just bring it to me?”  
“Because, brother,” Loki said, moving in closer so the two could easily talk in whispered tones. “If people see me handing you the weapon they may suspect something. They know of my magics and could believe I have manipulated the fight in your favor.”  
Thor nodded. “Thank you, Loki.”  
“I’m only looking out for your best interests. I’ll tell mother and father you’re on your way.”

Without another acknowledgement toward each other, Loki left Thor’s side and walked through the golden doors to take his place beside his parents. Thor ran off to his room, moving at the fastest pace he could manage to quickly return to the waiting masses. His room was a mess of armor, weaponry, and trophies from especially triumphant kills. His bed was unmade and there was a dent in the wall from pretending to fight with the hammer just after his father had gifted it to him.

The weapon was easy to find in the chaos as it sat on the shelf where he usually kept Mjolnir. It was a short, wide blade that appeared to have a lot of heft. Red jewels encrusted the hilt like drops of fresh blood and the blade itself looked sharper than any he’d ever seen. Thor grabbed it and was surprised by its weight, not that it was too much for him to handle. He rested the blade over his shoulder with his grip on the hilt as he walked back down to the arena with a newfound confidence.

He paused as he reached the closed doors, taking a deep breath before walking through to the roar of his admirers. He smiled and raised the sword in the air for all to see, causing the audience to explode with anticipation. They loved their prince as much as they loved their king. 

His challenger awaited him in the center of the room. He was a young Asgardian, twice the size of Thor but half the strength. His armor and sword appeared to be self-made but of good quality. His jaw was set and his eyes full of determination as he stared down Thor but all the god of thunder gave in return was a cocky grin. He lowered his sword as he walked toward the other man and held out his free hand as a friendly gesture.  
“Good luck.”  
The other man accepted Thor’s hand begrudgingly. “I need no luck, Odinson.”  
“I’m sure you don’t.”

They broke apart and moved to opposite sides of the open space, gripping their weapons tightly. They both looked up to the terrace where Thor’s family was perched. Odin was stone-faced, Frigga seemed worried, and Loki gazed at the two warriors with something that appeared to be amusement. They waited patiently for an indication to begin, watching Odin carefully, when he finally gave the nod. 

Thor shouted, his war cry filling the arena, as he charged forward. The other man stayed firmly planted where he stood, holding up his sword, waiting for the first strike. With one hand gripping the hilt, Thor swung, a sense of familiarity sweeping through him at the feel of the sword. It didn’t hit him why that was until the blow landed, striking against the other Asgardian’s sword and breaking it in half. 

The force of the hit knocked the man backward hard enough that he seemed to fly, his splintered sword falling from his hands. Thor stopped moving, looking in confusion at his competitor, who’d landed in the audience, down to the sword in his hand. The harder he stared at the weapon, the more something seemed off about it. His eyes found their way to Loki in search of an answer, only to see him trying to suppress his laughter as if the whole thing were a joke. When he glanced back down at the sword, it was flickering in his grasp like a projected image.   
“Loki, what did you do?” he asked himself under his breath. 

The weapon appeared to be fighting to show its true form and Thor knew what it would be. The shame had already begun to settle in as the sword shifted into Mjolnir. A collective gasp traveled through the crowd but it was the look of disappointment on Odin’s face that struck Thor the hardest. Rage blossomed inside of him and he directed it into a single, deadly glare aimed at his brother that stopped his laughter immediately. It was the best he could do in the middle of a crowd but he swore he’d have revenge. He only had to wait.

 

Outside of the arena, after being publically disqualified and dishonored for breaking the rules, Thor waited calmly and patiently as the palace emptied. He knew his father planned to take Mjolnir from him after the spectators left but he still had time. Loki couldn’t hide from him forever. 

Thor knew enough of his tricks that he believed he would try to sneak out with the crowd under an illusion of invisibility so he was very surprised when his brother left the arena completely visible, as if he’d done no wrong. Such arrogance from Loki only fueled Thor’s anger as he reached out and grabbed his brother’s cape, pulling him away from the crowd. Loki stumbled backward, clearly surprised at the outright assault as he was pulled back and dragged away.

“What is the meaning of this!?” he asked, affronted.  
“You humiliated me in front of everyone and still carry the nerve to ask such a thing?” He hauled him out of the palace to the back grounds where no guards were at their posts. There, he finally let go of Loki and turned to face him, anger clear in his expression. “Why would you do this, Loki?”  
Loki held up his hands in defense. “It was just a bit of fun. I meant no real harm.”  
“Fun?” Thor practically growled as he lashed out with his hammer. Loki moved swiftly to just barely avoid it.  
“CALM DOWN, THOR!” he shouted, quickly regaining his balance. “I only did it to show you how ridiculous the tournament was. How it held no meaning.”  
“BUT THERE WAS MEANING! It only meant nothing to you!”  
Thor swung again, narrowly missing his brother.  
“I’M SORRY, BROTHER! I’m sorry! I swear it!”  
“SORRY ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH! You are no brother of mine! You are a monster!”

Loki faltered, staring at his brother in bewilderment. Thor moved toward him, forcing Loki to move away for his own safety. He held onto Mjolnir so tightly that his knuckles turned white and his hand shook involuntarily. All he could see through his filter of rage was the image of a small, tired boy with frostbitten blue skin and blood red eyes.  
“A monster? Brother, that’s a little—”  
“Not just that. A demon. With ice running through your veins.”  
“What are you talking about!?”

Thor threw the hammer and Loki ducked instinctively, bracing himself for a bone shattering impact. He clenched his teeth with his eyes squeezed shut and his hands over his head but the hit never came. He didn’t open his eyes until he felt something fly past him, mere inches from his body. He uncurled himself, staring at Thor with disbelief and a spark of fear. His brother stood before him, looking at him with hate, Mjolnir in hand.   
“Had I wanted it to hit you, it would have. Make no mistake.” Thor turned away from him, intending to walk away to cool his anger when Loki spoke.  
“I truly am sorry. I never intended for you to react this way. I’ll tell father it was all me. I only wanted to show you how great you are. You don’t need silly games to prove it. Never doubt yourself, Thor.”

Thor grimaced as if the words caused him pain. He almost wanted to turn around but he couldn’t let himself. He started walking away, leaving his brother behind him and letting his rage run its course. 

 

The young god of thunder ended up walking down the rainbow bridge toward the bifrost. He was unsure why he headed that way until he really thought about it. Heimdall was at his post, he knew, keeping watch over Asgard and the nine realms. With such a power of sight, he knew the keeper must know many things and there was one subject in particular he wanted to discuss. It wasn’t long before he was inside the golden dome, being overshadowed by the massive man who held the key to the bifrost.  
“What brings you here, Thor?” Heimdall asked, his deep voice booming but ultimately gentle.  
“You see everything in the nine realms?” he said, trying to keep his confidence under the gaze of his intimidating yellow eyes.  
“I do but you are here about a specific event. I can tell. Relax, young prince. Ask when you’re ready.”

Thor nodded, realizing he was still gripping Mjolnir with such ferocity that his hand groaned in agony. He stole a deep breath before continuing. “Loki. My brother. He’s not my brother, is he?”  
Heimdall stared down at him, through him, with such intensity that he almost felt like running. But he couldn’t run; he needed answers.   
“Should this not be a matter for your father?”  
“You know as well as I that he would never tell me if it were true.”  
The keeper grunted in agreement, hesitating before answering. “No. He is not your brother. Not in blood.”  
“What is he?”  
“I think you already know.”  
“I need to hear it.”  
“Loki was born on Jotunheim. He is a Frost Giant.” He looked down at Thor, who had his face cast to the floor, his grip on the hammer slackening. “What do you plan to do about it?”

Tears of anger and sadness slid down his cheeks but he hid his face so Heimdall wouldn’t see. A feeling of hopelessness wormed its way into his heart along with every other emotion that came along with the chaos that was Loki. How could he ever forgive him for what he was and what his race did? How did he continue to forgive him anyway?  
“I know not.”


	3. Chapter 3

As the sons of Odin entered adulthood, Loki knew all too well which of them would be declared heir to the throne. That didn’t lessen the hurt when Odin finally spoke the words aloud. The heir to the throne and the kingdom of Asgard was Thor, son of Odin and Frigga, god of thunder. Thor never noticed the pained expression on his face, never realized how much effort it took him to smile, congratulate his brother, and say he deserved it. All he cared about in that moment was himself, his own pride, his own joy at the thought of one day stepping up to the throne. Just like Loki, he always knew he would be heir but never once stopped to consider his brother’s feelings. On that day, the rift between them began to form.

Following the announcement, there was a citywide celebration that lasted for a little less than a week. Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three began reveling in the festivities almost immediately and a day passed before Thor noticed his brother’s absence from the party.

With his friends too drunk to discern much other than their cups, he left in search of Loki. The task proved difficult as it was hard to find a skilled sorcerer who didn’t want to be found. That fact did nothing to deter him. His worry for his brother and confidence in his ability to find him were far too great. He searched the palace to no avail only to find him on the grounds, hiding in the palace’s shadow with a book open in his lap.

“What brings you out here on your own, brother?” Thor asked, approaching Loki who seemed to be engrossed in the story.

Loki stared at the book for a few moments before looking up at his brother. “Too loud, too bright, too many people. I just felt like being alone.”

“You don’t wish to celebrate with me,” he asked, looking more like a hurt puppy than a grown warrior.

Loki tried to smile but it wavered. “There is always time for celebration. For me, the time is not now. Perhaps tomorrow. But don’t let me ruin your fun. Enjoy yourself, Thor, before your kingly duties won’t allow for it.”

Loki turned back to his book but Thor didn’t leave. Instead, he sat down beside his brother with a warm smile on his face. “It’s no party without you, brother! There would be no mischief.”

“You seemed to be getting along just fine before you noticed my absence,” Loki replied shortly without looking up.

“Please, brother, I need—”

“Don’t,” Loki snapped.

“…What?”

“Don’t do that, Thor. Don’t pretend like…” He trailed off, gripping the sides of his book so hard they dug into his flesh. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Loki closed the book and gracefully pulled himself to his feet. Thor followed suit, standing up as Loki started to walk away. Completely oblivious to his brother’s emotions, he chased after him, keeping pace at his side after he caught up.

“Did I say something unfavorable?”

“Brother, return to your party.”

“Loki—”

“THOR!” 

Loki stopped and rounded on his brother, causing Thor to stumble to avoid running into him. For half of a second, a cool rage consumed his features but he quickly hid it away and replaced it with mild irritation. He rubbed his eyes as if they caused him great pain before looking Thor steadily.

“You did nothing wrong. Truly. I would just rather be alone right now, brother. Please understand.”

Thor nodded. “I do. I’ll go back. Don’t be away for too long. The party dulls quickly without you.”

“Rest assured I’ll be there in due time.”

He smiled for a second to reinforce his statement but his heart wasn’t in it. He turned around and continued walking, the smiled dropping as soon as Thor couldn’t see him. Thor returned to the palace without completely realizing something was wrong with his brother.

 

Loki kept his word and joined the festivities the next day as if nothing happened. He entertained with harmless magic, drank with the rest of them, and never looked his brother in the eye. At the end of the week, the brothers hadn’t spoken a word to each other with Thor swarmed by the warm congratulations of other people and Loki actively avoiding him.

After the celebrations ended, preparations for the coronation began. The Odinsleep continued to be pushed back and with every day Odin grew weaker. Thor needed to be ready to take the throne, even if just for the time Odin recharged. With even more business surrounding Thor, the rift between the sons of Odin widened. Thor wanted nothing more than to speak with Loki but he had no time. All he could do was hope his brother understood. 

While the brothers had been learning their whole lives what they would be accountable for were either to be crowned king, Thor was thrust into the true reality of it all. It was overwhelming with so much responsibility but he knew he had to be ready. For weeks, every second of his day was preplanned and by the day before the coronation arrived, he missed his brother.

As the blacksmiths created his new helmet, shining and silver with wings on the sides, he made time to slip away and search for Loki. He found him easily, tucked away in his room, at his desk, surrounded by a stack of books from the palace’s extensive library. The crown of his slicked back, black hair stuck out above the pile, informing Thor of his presence. The usually alert god didn’t seem to notice him as he walked quietly into the neat and organized room. 

Loki poured over an open tome as Thor moved to stand behind him. Without his knowledge, he looked over his shoulder to see what he was reading so intensely. He had to bite back a gasp when he saw that the book was about Jotunheim. His first thought was that Loki knew. He knew what he was and he was trying to learn about his people. However, reason kicked in, telling him that if he knew, he would most likely be a lot angrier. He’d be asking questions, especially of Odin. Loki was always curious; he probably just wanted to learn more about something he knew little of. Thor stole a silent, calming breath before making himself known.

“That book must be interesting. You did not hear my approach.”

Loki jumped in his seat and slammed the book shut reflexively. “Thor! Either you’ve become swifter in our time apart or my awareness has been slipping.”

He turned in his chair to face him with an air of pleasantness so seemingly authentic that Thor couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not. With Loki being such a skilled liar, he assumed it wasn’t. He grabbed a nearby chair and placed it so he could sit facing his brother. Loki groaned when he realized his brother was intent on staying to talk.

“Give me a chance to speak,” Thor said, demanding rather than pleading. “It is not by my choice we’ve seen so little of each other lately. I’ve been hearing news that you don’t wish to be part of my coronation tomorrow.”

Loki frowned. “Do you believe everything you hear? That is not a wise way to live.”

“That’s why I’m here, brother. If it’s true, you must know that you being a part of it would mean the world to me. It would mean all the worlds.”

His frown deepened as he listened to his brother speak. The expression on his face slowly changed as if someone were carefully sticking a blade into his gut. “Thor,” he began, sounding resigned. “It’s not true. Of course I will be there, right beside mother as I was told.”

Thor smiled brighter than the sun as he stood up and pulled his brother into a hug. As Loki weakly reciprocated, Thor’s eyes wandered to the desk where the book on Jotunheim lay and he could feel his stomach drop and turn into rock hard ice. He released Loki from his vice grip of affection and put his smile back on like a mask. He clapped his brother on the back and quickly left. He was nowhere near as adept at lies as Loki and didn’t want him to see through to the truth. Upon deeper consideration, he thought that might be the problem. Thor wondered if he should stop the lies and tell him. He wanted to but he also knew it wasn’t his lie to tell. It would be a matter for Odin.

 

“FATHER!?” Thor’s voice echoed through the halls as he stormed his way to the throne room. 

His jaw was set in anger, his arrogance causing him to approach the situation with aggressiveness rather than the delicacy it warranted. He threw his fist at the throne room door to punch it open and almost succeeded in knocking it off its hinges. The startled figures of his mother and several guards turned to see the source of the commotion and were surprised to see the son of Odin. Odin sat in his throne, placed at the head of the room for all who entered to see, but he seemed to be the only one unsurprised. If anything, he appeared angry.

“What is the meaning of this?” Odin asked, rage building the volume in his voice.

“We have a matter to discuss,” he said in a low growl.

“Then discuss it,” he snapped as Frigga looked worriedly between her husband and son.

“I feel it is a problem for you and I alone, father.”

Odin stared hard at his son, radiating a level of intimidation that only a god could manage but Thor didn’t back down. He realized why he never brought up Loki sooner. There had been so many opportunities for him to mention it, to confront Odin, but he never did. Fear always managed to stop him. The fear of his father’s power and the fear of knowing the truth. He no longer harbored such fears. He was ready to know. 

After a solid minute, Odin nodded. “Everyone must leave. You as well, Frigga.”

The guards left the room without hesitation, walking by Thor as if he weren’t even there. Frigga left with much more resistance, moving only with reassurance from her husband and a passing glance at her son. Once the room was empty for all but the two of them, the tension between them settled with the silence in the air. 

“What was of such importance that you couldn’t wait to speak with me?” Odin asked, leaning back in his throne as Thor approached the terraced steps that led to it. The closer he was the throne, the more clearly he could see just how frayed the old king appeared. He looked tired and all the years of his long life grew more visible with each day he postponed the Odinsleep.

“Loki,” he said simply, stopping when he reached the bottom step.

Odin sighed. “What has the boy done now?”

“It’s not what he’s done, father, it’s what you did. Why did you take him from Jotunheim?”

Odin’s face fell into a scowl. Words were clawing to get free just beneath the surface but he held them down before delivering a calm, collected answer. “How did you find out?”

“How does not matter, what matters is that I know. I want to know why,” he demanded, curling his fingers into tight fists. 

He rubbed his forehead just above his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts or maybe trying to think of a way out of the situation. It was hard to tell. He looked down at an expectant Thor with a frown, possibly wishing he could will him away. When it didn’t work, he decided he would have to answer.

“Loki had been abandoned. I found him as a baby, alone and crying on the cold floor of an abandoned building. I suspect, because of how small he was, he had been left to die even though he was a prince.”

“A prince?”

“Laufey’s son.”

Thor gritted his teeth in an attempt to keep his emotions down, flexing his fingers as if grasping an invisible hammer. “Loki… Laufeyson?”

“Yes. That is his true name.”

“NO!” He stood in defiance against the truth, staring at his father with rage burning in his eyes as if he believed Odin only said that to anger him. “No, he is Loki Odinson.”

“You say you know the truth but you refuse to believe it. If you can’t accept it, what made you think anything I had to say would make a difference?”

Thor shook his head, ignoring his father’s words. “Why did you take him?” he asked, a crack causing his tone to waver. “Why didn’t you leave him to die? He’s a monster, is he not? A child of a race who sought to destroy everything. He is the creature that has plagued children’s nightmares for centuries.”

“I brought him home in hopes that he might one day help to bring definite peace between Asgard and Jotunheim.”

“Peace!? You who went to war against them? Who slaughtered them so mercilessly? Did they not deserve it? If peace is the case, then why never tell him what he is?”

“Imagine knowing you are what the people around you despise.”

“What makes you think he will never know?”

Odin’s eye narrowed before widening in realization. “What you are thinking, Thor, must never be done. You mustn’t tell him.”

“He has to be told! Finding this out on his own would be catastrophic.”

“You will not tell him!” Odin boomed, filling the room with his voice. “That is an order.”

“You are an old man and a fool,” he spat, turning around to walk away.

“Yes… I was a fool to think you were ready.”

“What do you mean?” Thor paused, only half turning around so he could see Odin’s face.

“You are an insolent child and until you learn otherwise, there will be no coronation! If one word of Loki’s true identity reaches his ears, you will never be king.”

Thor curled his fists even tighter, closing any space that had been between his palm and fingers. He made to hit something before he noticed there was nothing but air. He glared up at his father who returned the favor with more anger and intensity, even with just the one eye. 

“I EARNED THAT THRONE!”

“YOU’VE EARNED NOTHING. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!”

Thor wanted to scream. Frustration built up inside of him to the point of bursting but he held it in so he could leave the room with some dignity. He no longer wanted to see his father’s face so when he turned around, he never looked back. He marched toward the doors, one of which was clinging to its hinges, and knocked the unharmed one clear of its frame with a well-placed punch. Once out of the room, with a good part of his anger vented on the door, his thoughts shifted from Odin to Loki. An awaiting decision was clear. He was being forced to choose which was more important: his brother or the throne.


	4. Chapter 4

Thor ended up in his room, on his bed, pouting and angry as a child would be. He knew his reaction to the whole situation was improper, and he knew he should’ve handled it better, but he’d had so much responsibility piled on him all at once that he broke. Loki being Jotun was a problem he pushed to the side for so long that he wasn’t sure what to do about it. His first instinct, as always, was to hide from it, to pretend that it wasn’t true and Loki was actually his brother but it had become harder and harder for him to have faith in it. 

In his younger years, it was easier for him to believe what he saw was a dream or a nightmare but that excuse grew frail with age. The reality of it seeped into his mind and corrupted his thoughts until he could think of nothing else. He lay down on his bed, an arm under his head, as he weighed those thoughts when a shadow of a presence appeared in his doorway.

“Loki?” he asked, sitting up.

“I think the whole palace heard you and father fighting,” his brother said in smooth, level tones.

He glided into the room from the darkness as if he were a part of it and walked through the light just as easily. A man of two worlds. Thor would’ve laughed if that thought didn’t also cause him pain.

“I did not realize we were that loud.”

“I think Valhalla and Hel heard the two of you.” Thor’s heart stuttered at the words but Loki didn’t notice. He stopped at the side of his brother’s bed before continuing. “Though, I doubt they could make out what you were saying any better than I could. What happened?”

Thor wasn’t sure what to say. Since lies never suited him, he opted for truth with omission. “The coronation has been called off.”

Loki’s eyes widened and his lips parted just enough to be noticeable. He sat down on the bed next to his brother, his feet flat on the floor so that he could still leave at any moment. “I can’t believe father would do such a thing.”

“He said I wasn’t ready. Of course I’m ready, am I not?” He looked over at Loki but all he saw was the back of his head. 

“You are, brother. There’s certainly no one better for the job.”

Loki took advantage of the fact that Thor could only see his back. He dug his nails into his palms, his hands shaking from the pressure. He could feel each crescent shape as it started to slice through the soft skin like guillotines. He almost relished the sensation before he knew he should stop. After a quick, silent breath, he reigned in his feelings and pried his nails from his flesh, pleased that he caught himself before he bled. 

“You’ve always been so supportive of me, even through your mischievous nature,” Thor mused and Loki furrowed his brow as to why. “For what reason?”

“Er, well,” he started, taken aback. He frowned, staring at the red marks on his hands before turning on the bed so he could actually see his brother. “While sometimes I might be jealous, never doubt that I love you. Out of all the titles you hold, god of thunder, future king, friend, you are first and foremost my brother.”

Thor stared hard at Loki before looking down at his lap. “What if I wasn’t?”

“Wasn’t what?”

“Your brother. What if I wasn’t your brother but we still shared this bond? Would you feel the same?”

“What?” A nervous laugh escaped Loki’s throat. “Where did that come from?”

Thor smiled but the right emotion wasn’t behind it. “Nothing, brother. Just my thoughts getting away from me.”

“Well, worry not. If to ease your mind, love is not limited to blood. And I am sure father will realize his mistake soon.”

“I hope so.”

“If you’ll excuse me, dear brother, I have something to attend to.”

Loki stood up and walked toward the door and Thor watched him, brows knitted together. “Attend to what?”

He paused, glancing at the floor and then back at his brother. “It’s nothing terribly important. I just forgot about something I left open. It wouldn’t be favorable if anything got in.”

Thor nodded. “I will see you later then.”

“Unless father decides to cancel dinner as well,” he said, walking out of the room and into the hall.

When he was sure he was out of sight, he picked up his pace with the urgency of a spreading fire. He flew down the halls without attracting attention, feeling pleased he left his formal armor, including his cape, in the armory. Within minutes, he was outside of the doors to the Casket room, quickly formulating a plan in his mind as he pushed his way in.

Upon entering, the guards on duty were automatically alert, raising their weapons as they turned toward the doorway. The god of mischief stumbled into the room, acting out of breath and panicked. His slicked back hair was disheveled, his eyes were wide, and he appeared to be having a hard time forming words.

“Prince Loki?” one of the guards asked as the two who were in the room approached him. “What’s wrong?”

“Th-the front gate!” he said, doubled over as he tried to catch his breath.

“What about it?” the other guard demanded.

He pointed at the door as if would clarify what he was saying. “There’s a riot. A mob is tr-trying to break into the palace!”

The guards looked at each other and nodded before running off to the front of the palace. Immediately, like flipping a switch, Loki turned his act off and stood up straight. He glanced down the hall at the Casket, his gaze lingering a second too long and he knew it. He’d always felt drawn to it but it was in impulse he learned to ignore. Instead of moving toward the glowing box like he felt he wanted to, he stood with his back to it, facing the wall.

He could feel the gaping wound between realms even if he couldn’t see it. A single thread of magic connected him to it, adding itself to the many other threads that formed whenever he created something with his power. Loki stood at the center of a web of magic and only he could see the shimmering green strands; only he knew where each one led.

The one in front of him that was bound to the wall showed the location of a portal that he created between Asgard and Jotunheim. He almost scowled at it. All the effort he put into creating a door between worlds made closing it seem like setting fire to a priceless piece of art. The only reason he opened it had fallen through. He meant to call forth a couple of mostly harmless Frost Giants to both ruin and postpone Thor’s coronation. Odin wasn’t the only one who didn’t believe he was ready to rule. At least, Loki kept telling himself that’s why he did it. Now that it was cancelled, leaving it open would only be asking for true disaster. 

He walked forward, the thread shortening with each step, and stopped when he was less than an arm’s length away. A subtle green glow started to outline his hands as he reached out to press them against the wall. He could feel the opening pulsating under his palms as he began to chant the words he memorized under his breath. The portal began to shrink under his touch but he was stopped mid-spell by the creeping presence of someone to his right, someone about to open the door to the room.

“Thor.” The name left his lips involuntarily but as it reached his ears, he knew it to be true.

 

On the other side, Thor stood, his hand hovering an inch or two over the door. His brother’s sudden departure had left him with an uneasy feeling in his gut. He wanted desperately to trust him but he just knew something was off. He followed him after Loki had enough of a head start that he wouldn’t notice anyone on his tail. 

Halfway to their destination, Thor realized how it was so like the day when they were children. The day he followed Loki only to discover what he really was. With that thought, he glanced around him and knew immediately where his brother was headed. He stopped in his tracks, watching as his brother walked out of sight. As far as he knew, Loki hadn’t visited the Casket room since he was a boy and any reason he would be going there in that moment terrified Thor. He wanted to walk away and avoid the problem as he’d always done but it was then that he understood he couldn’t. Instead, he stole a step forward and followed his brother to face whatever may lie behind those doors.

He’d only taken a few strides when a pair of guards flew down the hall past Thor without giving the prince a second thought. He looked from the fleeing guard to the direction they came from and picked up his pace, skidding to a stop just before the door. This is where he stood, his hand hovering, nervous about what he might find on the other side.

He tried to wipe his mind of such worries as he pushed the door open with ease. After taking a few steps in, he shut it behind him, scanning the great hall of a room for any sign of Loki. He saw nothing, heard nothing, but he knew without question that he was there.

“Brother, show yourself,” he commanded but received no response. “You may be able to hide but you have yet to obtain the ability to walk through walls. I harbor no doubts that I can guard this door longer than you can stay hidden from sight.”

He backed up against the doors and crossed his arms, clearly expressing that he would stay until Loki revealed himself. It only took a minute of waiting before the air carried a deep, familiar sigh to his ears. Thor didn’t search for the source of the noise. He simply waited until an ordinary looking patch of wall began to dance and shimmer like the heat around an open flame. The illusion of invisibility washed away, leaving Loki, who was staring at his brother with exasperation as if everything were his fault.

“Thor, what are you doing here? Did I not say I had business to attend to?”

Thor felt momentarily confused as the tables turned on him. “What? What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”

Loki kept his distance, stealing quick glances to the wall at the right. “I told you, I left something open that needed immediate attention.”

“Is it closed now?” Thor asked, dropping his arms as he stepped away from the door.

Loki glanced once more at the wall. “Yes.” He looked back at Thor, brow furrowing. “Why did you follow me? Do you not trust me?”

“Brother, I love you dearly but it has been many moons since you’ve given me a reason to trust you. If your business is done, let us go,” he said, beckoning Loki with one hand and gesturing to the door with his other.

Loki shook his head. “No. If you have somewhere to be so urgently, go on your own.”

“Loki, I am not asking.”

“Who are you to command me!?”

“I am your brother and your future king!” 

Loki flinched as if his words caused physical pain. He looked shocked and appalled as Thor stared at him with a slowly cooling rage. 

Thor snapped out of it at his brother’s expression, relaxing his hands that had clenched into fists of their own accord. He looked down at his feet, ashamed of his own behavior.

“I’m sorry, brother. I didn’t mean—”

“Oh, but you did,” he hissed, almost shaking with anger. “YOU HAVE ALWAYS… wait.”

Loki paused, cocking his head slightly.

“What—”

“SHH!” 

Confusion swept through Thor again but he kept quiet as his brother listened. He turned his wide green eyes toward the wall, the one he kept glancing at, and he paled. A barely audible ‘no’ passed his lips as he stumbled back a step.

“What is it?”

“They heard us. Our fight called attention to us. They’re coming.”

“Who is?”

He swallowed hard and turned toward Thor, an unspoken apology shining in his eyes. “Frost Giants.”

Thor stared at him in disbelief but Loki made no show that his words were an ill made joke. They both turned to look as a massive leg stepped through the wall like it wasn’t even there. Thor wanted to step back but he couldn’t. His body was momentarily frozen with shock. The being of ice slipped through the portal with ease, its opaque blue skin protected by thick armor of the same material. 

It stared straight forward, eyes locked onto the Casket, before looking down as an afterthought, not used to such tiny creatures. It smirked and raised a hand, dismissing them as barely threatening when a second Frost Giant joined the first. The new arrival shook Thor from his stupor as he felt a call into action. He held his hand out for Mjolnir but his hammer was farther away than he would’ve liked. Housed miles away and several floors up, he knew the hammer would come to his call; he just didn’t know how long it would take. 

Too long, as he soon found out.

The first Frost Giant directed his attention to Loki who rushed to create a throwing knife to protect himself. Loki threw it but the giant moved fast enough that it only nicked its side. It raised its hand again, intending to freeze and kill the son of Odin when Thor abandoned his wait for the hammer and pushed Loki to safety. Loki was knocked to the floor a few feet away but Thor had placed himself in the path of the attack. He’d squeezed his eyes shut and braced his body to be frozen but instead he felt a cold, searing burn in his right leg. 

“You self-sacrificing fool!” Loki shouted, climbing to his feet. “I can defend myself.”

He turned to his brother and grinned as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “This is nothing, Loki.”

“Nothing? How do you plan to avoid the next attack?”

“Simple.”

Thor held out his arm again as Mjolnir swiftly completed the last leg of its journey. When the second Frost Giant raised an arm to strike, the mighty hammer crashed through the doors and shattered its arm before landing in Thor’s grip. He then turned his attention to his leg, encased in solid, gleaming ice that was slowly causing a deep frostbite. He raised his hammer and, with restrained force, struck the ice. It fractured at first, hairline spider webs crawling across the surface until it finally broke, freeing his much needed limb.

The Frost Giants were beginning to understand that the two Asgardians posed a high threat. They could’ve easily turned around and gone back to Jotunheim but Thor knew that now they had seen what they wanted, they weren’t going to leave until it was theirs. However, that was a fate neither Thor nor Loki could allow. Both of them took up fighting stances and they prepared their weapons.

Loki struck first and fast, whipping one of his knives at the heart of the first Frost Giant. Its chest plate fell apart on impact but no actual damage was done. Thor threw Mjolnir at the other giant, relieving it of its remaining arm. They hardly noticed the ice that crept across the floor just under their feet, not taking into account that it could become a problem. They fought valiantly and soon Thor had killed his Frost Giant while Loki’s was worn and wounded. 

As they both prepared to make the fatal hit, the knowingly defeated Frost Giant had one last plan in it. If it was going to go down, it wanted to take at least one of the Asgardians with it. It stomped down upon the ice beneath it, sending a ripple, a command, through it until it reached its destination. The magic in turn commanded the ice, causing it to grow and spring from the ground as deadly spikes, driving straight through Thor’s chest.

“BROTHER, NO!” Loki’s helpless shouted echoed through the room and the Frost Giant only had a moment to laugh before a knife of magic tore through its heart.

Loki ran to Thor just as Mjolnir slipped from his hand and crashed to the ground. A pathetic gasp for air wheezed its way from his lips as a pool of blood began to collect in his mouth.

“Loki…” Thor gasped, staring at him with wild eyes.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Thor.” Tears collected in the corners of his eyes but he ignored them. “Asgard needs you. Stay conscious, I’m going to get help.”

“Wait,” Thor weakly grabbed Loki’s arm. “You need to,” he paused to cough, expelling most of the blood. “You need to know…”

“You can tell me later. When you’re well.” Panic started to settle into his chest. He didn’t want to lose his brother, he realized. 

“No!” He said, gripping Loki tighter than he thought he had strength for. “You need to know… you’re not… you’re not… my… brother. You’re…” 

Thor gasped for more air just before falling unconscious leaving Loki kneeling beside him, dealing with a flurry of emotions. He was hurt, confused, and scared. He wasn’t his brother? Loki didn’t understand. All he knew in that moment was that Thor needed help and he ran to fetch it.


	5. Chapter 5

It didn’t take long. The guards Loki had sent away were already making their return trip from chasing a lie. The two were all but pleased to see him, but once Loki explained, they didn’t have time to be angry. Loki watched as they ran past him to the Vault where Thor was bleeding out but he couldn’t bring himself to follow and help. He couldn’t bear to see what his mistake had done.

His guilt was overwhelming. It pulled him below the surface into the self-deprecating sea. He slunk away into the darkness and hid, fearful that he might’ve caused the death of his own brother. He retreated to the palace and to his room, shutting himself away. He felt the shame of running but it was a mere pinprick compared to the lacerations of blame he self-inflicted. 

Once the door was shut, he slid to the floor, running his hands through his hair. He knew Odin would hear of his involvement. Both of the guards experienced his trickery. They would assume the injury befallen Thor was of his doing. For some reason, he felt okay with that. With every bit of mischief he managed to weasel himself out of, he felt this was the one he deserved to be blamed for. Any punishment Odin could bestow would never live up to his own inner penance. 

His hands curled into fists in his hair, tugging at the roots. His thoughts shifted from self-hatred to hate. None of it would’ve happened, he realized, if he’d only had time to close the portal. If Thor hadn’t followed him, there would be no Frost Giants, no fight, no thick, dark blood. Every problem, every fault in his life could be traced back to his brother. 

Thor’s last words wormed their way to the front of his mind. “You’re not my brother.” Loki racked his brain but couldn’t figure out any meaning behind it other than the clear one. The idea that he used what may have been his last breath to tell Loki he hated him made him sick. He felt his nails dig into his scalp and the pain of it pulled him from his bitter contemplation.

“But this, what happened to Thor,” he said aloud to the impartial air, “the fault is truly mine. My hands opened the portal and my hands failed to close it. Thor is right to hate me.”

Loki picked himself up off of the floor and dragged his feet to his desk. He collapsed into the wooden chair and poured over the book that lay open there, regardless of its subject matter. He resolved to wait until Odin summoned him and he would take his punishment in stride. 

 

Thor was still weaving in and out of consciousness when the two guards burst into the Vault and started to pull his heavy form free of the spikes. He could feel them as they slid through his body with ease and he could hear himself shouting in agony but it sounded muffled and distant, as if coming from someone far away. They had almost lifted him completely off of the ice when he blacked out from the searing pain burning every inch of him.

He never expected to wake up. He expected to see the gorgeous, shining Valkyries that would pull him from his shell and carry him to Valhalla. To his relief, or dismay, they never arrived. He remained in a state of blackness until consciousness tugged eagerly at his mind, telling him it was okay to open his eyes. That it was okay to go home. 

His first conscious thought was of Loki. Just his name caused him to seize up with worry. He never had the chance to finish what he needed to tell him. He only managed to sputter out half of the story and that, on its own, could be seen in too many different lights. Thor’s stomach tightened at the thought. 

He could see brightness filtering through his eyelids as he slowly pried them open. Thor expected to awaken in the Healing room but he found himself staring at the familiar ceiling of his bedroom instead. He tried to sit up but that only caused him to hiss in pain. He stayed on his back and slowly moved his head around toward the door and his bedside. Not unexpectedly, he saw his mother, Frigga, staring worriedly at him but also relieved that he’d finally awaken. 

“Thor, darling, are you well?” Frigga asked, holding Thor’s hand.

Thor laughed a little but the motion of it hurt him. “I’m fine, mother,” he assured her as he clutched his abdomen with his free arm. “I should be well enough to battle with a few more days rest.”

“I hope so, my son. I should go tell your father you’re awake,” she said as she moved to stand.

“Mother, wait.”

“What is it?”

“Where is Loki? Have you seen him?”

“I’m afraid not. He could be in his room.”

“Would you find him for me and tell him I wish to speak with him. Before you find father. Please.” 

Frigga smiled at her injured son. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you,” he said as his mother left and he returned to staring at the ceiling. 

He wasn’t sure how long it would take his mother to find Loki so he closed his eyes just to rest them. Just for a minute. Until his brother arrived and he could explain what he meant. But, as his eyes shut, sleep quickly took him without his consent. He dreamed of the days when he and Loki were friends as well as brothers with no tension between them.

 

Loki’s heart leapt in his chest and tightened when he heard a knock on his door. A night and half a day had passed with no one trying to find him so a spark of hope had ignited that the whole ordeal might’ve blown over. The simple knock on his door quickly extinguished that. He’d returned to sitting at his desk after a night’s sleep so he turned in his chair toward the door.

“Loki, are you in there?”

He relaxed a little at the sound of his mother’s voice. “Yes. I am.”

A soft creak echoed through the silent room as Frigga opened the door. “How long have you been hiding up here?”

“No more than a day, mother. Just… engrossed in a particularly interesting tale. What brings you here?”

“Your brother asked for you,” she said as she walked a few steps into the room.

“Thor?” he asked, standing up to meet her. “How is he?”

“He’s doing well but still in some pain. You should go visit with him.” She paused and looked into Loki’s eyes. Her brow creased with concern. “Is something troubling you, my son?”

Loki hesitated, frowning as all of his worries burst to the surface of his thoughts. As he looked at his mother he could feel hot tears brewing. He wrapped his arms around Frigga while he fought them back and she did the same, holding him tightly as she knew he needed her to. 

“What is it, Loki?” she asked sympathetically. 

He held onto her for a few more moments before breaking away. He’d cleared away the threat of tears and stared at Frigga seriously. “Mother, would you… would you still love me no matter what I’ve done?”

She appeared startled by the question, so many questions of her own bubbling up within her. Instead of asking them, she replied with complete honesty. “My sweet boy, of course I would. Will you not tell me what’s wrong?”

He shook his head before looking down at his hands where he could still see Thor’s blood even though he’d washed them clean. “I should go see my brother. Thank you.”

The worry in his chest lessened a little knowing that at least one person in the realm would still love him when all of Asgard discovered what he’d done.

 

Thor slowly regained consciousness again and cursed himself when he realized he’d fallen back to sleep. A groan left his throat and he could hear an anxious rustle to his right. He thought his mother might still be there but when he turned to look, he saw his brother sitting in a chair at his bedside. He was looking down at his hands folded in his lap. His brother looked so sad and it hurt him to think he was the one who might’ve caused it. 

“Loki?”

“I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Thor pushed himself up in bed until he was leaning against the headboard with a pained expression but a smile broke through as he turned to Loki. “Not at all. I never meant to fall back to sleep. I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

Loki looked down and shook his head. “An hour at best.”

“Brother!” he boomed, sounding both angry and concerned. “You should have woken me! We have important matters to discuss.”

Loki looked up and his green eyes met Thor’s blue ones. “Yes, I suppose we do.”

Thor glanced down at his lap before looking back to his brother as he tried to figure out what he was going to say. “Listen, brother, I’m sorry…”

Loki wasn’t sure what he would be sorry for, unless… “Because you told Father? About what I did?”

Thor’s light-hearted expression melted into a hurt one. “You mean about letting the Frost Giants in?”

“You knew,” Loki said. It wasn’t a question. He already figured his brother knew.

Thor shook his head. “I did not tell Father and I will not. But I would like to know why.”

Loki wanted to disappear but, even if he did, he knew he couldn’t hide forever. He felt like a small child. It’s how his brother and father always made him feel. But letting the Frost Giants in, he’d never regretted anything more. “I… you weren’t ready to rule Asgard. I aimed to open the portal for a few Frost Giants to cause enough of a stir to postpone your coronation. It did not go as planned.”

“No. My organs and I had noticed,” Thor said, patting the visible bandages that left few parts of his chest bare. 

Thor looked away from his brother’s face to the hand resting on his abdomen. His face appeared contorted, as if deep in thought. There were clear signs of hurt and confusion in his features. He was remembering something Loki had told him. “You said you thought I was ready, earlier in my room. You said there was no one better.”

Loki’s jaw clenched as he crushed his teeth together. His fingers curled into his palms, causing a dull ache in his hands. “I lied, Thor. It’s what I do best.”

Thor looked more hurt than ever, his expression crumbling into sadness. Yet, he still wasn’t angry or disappointed. He only wanted to understand. “Lying is something you do well, brother. I admit that. But it is not all you are. You lied for a reason. What was it?”

Loki relaxed his hands and his jaw as he stared at Thor with hard, unreadable eyes. “I did it to hurt you.”

After he spoke, he tried to stand, believing he’d ended the conversation, but Thor quickly reached out and pulled him back down into the chair. Loki appeared slightly stunned as he saw Thor’s face, contorted from anger. He resigned himself to the chair, understanding that Thor wouldn’t let him leave until he deemed their talk over. Thor let go of his brother’s arm and rested his back against the headboard once more, wincing a little in pain.

“That’s just another lie, Loki. Were I a child once more, I may have believed it, but I know you. Tell me the true reason and then I will speak my piece.”

Loki sucked in a deep breath, not wishing to speak the words he was about to say. “I… I was jealous. I am jealous.” He paused and looked at Thor who was staring back at him with wide blue eyes, appearing very much like the child he insisted he wasn’t. “I don’t want the throne, I need you to understand that, but I have never been given an equal chance to it. Father has always favored you in everything.”

Thor shook his head, brow furrowed. “These are but imagined slights, they—”

“THEY ARE NOT IMAGINED. You are just blind to them,” Loki fumed. “There was never a choice between us. It was always you. I’ve stayed silent about it for so long, pretending it didn’t affect me, but it does. That is why I lied and that is why I sabotaged your coronation.”

“Do you not regret it?” Thor asked.

Loki found it hard to look him in the eye then. “I regret it more than anything.”

“That is all that matters, brother,” Thor said, placing a reassuring hand on his brother’s arm. “I forgive you. And I understand.”

“Do you?” Loki asked with some skepticism.

Thor nodded, pulling his hand back as he looked straight ahead at the wall. “Even more than you, I think. Now it is my turn to speak and I will explain what I know.”

Loki seemed confused at Thor’s blank stare and picked up on the sadness and reluctance his brother was exuding. His nerves kicked in but he kept them hidden under an emotionless mask. “Okay,” he replied flatly.

Thor left them both in silence for a minute or two until he built up the courage to speak. “You’re not my brother.”

Loki nodded. “So you’ve said,” he said shortly.

Thor turned to Loki, a spark of warning in his eyes. “Let me finish.”

Loki had to restrain himself from flinching.

“You’re not my brother by means of blood.”

“I don’t understand.”

Thor stared deeply into his brother’s eyes as if trying to make him understand. “Father and Mother, they adopted you.”

Loki’s hard shell shattered at those words and a flurry of emotions consumed him. At the head of the assault was an overwhelming feeling of denial. “That’s not true. You’re lying.”

“I swear to you, I am not. I even spoke to Father about it.”

A feeling of nausea swept over him as the denial fractured and overtook his features. “Is that what you were fighting about?” he asked in an almost whisper of a voice.

Thor nodded. “But I’m afraid there’s more to it.”

“MORE!? How can this possibly be worse?”

Thor winced as he looked down, guilt written in his eyes. “Your blood is not Asgardian blood. It’s Jotun. You’re a Frost Giant.”

Loki’s jaw dropped open as if he were about to speak but quickly closed it and lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. His face was wiped of emotion once more as he stood from the chair. Thor raised an arm to stop him again but Loki waved his hand and Thor’s arm dropped to the bed, held in place by a ring of glowing green magic. Thor looked defeated as Loki rushed from the room, slamming the door behind him. As soon as the door clicked shut, Thor yelled out, hoping his brother could still hear him.

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU ARE.” He sighed and sunk down onto his pillow. “I still love you, no matter what. I wish you’d see that.”

 

Days passed as Thor healed and he saw no sign of Loki since they spoke. He asked everyone who visited if they’d seen him but every answer was the same. His brother seemed to have disappeared from the palace, from Asgard, and that left Thor wracked with worry. He hoped the news he delivered had not pushed Loki over the edge. 

Thor told himself that Loki needed to know but the comfort those words brought lost power with each use until they were no help at all. All he wanted to do was search for him but there was always someone in his room to keep an eye on him. It grew progressively frustrating until he felt almost ready to snap. He felt no relief until he was finally released from his prison of a room.

Frigga walked in just as Thor was ripping through his bandages to check his injuries. 

“THOR!” she shouted, stopping a few steps in the door. 

Thor froze in his flurry, a fistful of off-white dressings in each hand as well as a few held between his teeth. 

“Release them,” Frigga said sternly, finishing the walk to his bedside. “Now.”

With a face like a guilty dog, he let go of the bandages and allowed his mother to untangle the mess. He remained silent for a few moments as she unwrapped the dressings from his chest, pulling until she reached the ones with faint rust brown stains that touched his wounds. However, he was unable to hold his tongue for long.

“Have you—”

“No, Thor,” she responded, her voice sounding frayed from tiredness and worry. “I have not seen Loki. I’m just as concerned as you are, my son, but he doesn’t seem to want to be found.”

Thor nodded. “I know.”

“I think you’ll be pleased to know that you finally have the chance to look yourself. You are completely healed,” Frigga said, balling up the bandages so she could dispose of them.

Without a word, Thor kicked off his covers and stood from his bed. There were faint pink lines on his chest from where the ice had torn through but those would also be gone in a day or two. He skillfully dressed in his armor within a minute and hugged his mother out of gratitude. When he held her at arm’s length, she gave him a small, sad smile. Thor could see the words she wanted to say in it. She didn’t think he would find Loki.

“I will find him. I swear it,” he said, dropping his arms to his sides.

“I hope you do.”

Thor rushed from the room and didn’t bother checking the palace. From what he’d heard, the guards had checked it enough times that it was guaranteed Loki wouldn’t be there. Even, without an idea as to where Loki was hiding, he had a destination in mind. For quicker travel, Thor grabbed a horse from the stables and rode out of the city to the rainbow bridge. If anyone could see where Loki was, it would be Heimdall.

He tugged on the reins to stop his horse just before the opening of the bifrost. He knew Heimdall would be expecting him so there was no pretense as Thor dismounted and walked inside the dome. Heimdall was standing a few feet inside the entrance, the point of his sword touching the floor with both hands on its hilt. Thor almost faltered as he saw the massive guardian staring down at him.

“Thor,” Heimdall said calmly.

“Do you know where he is?” Thor asked, not bothering with small talk.

“What makes you think I would know?”

“You see everything in this realm. Is he still in Asgard?”

“I can’t say.”

“Please, Heimdall,” Thor pleaded, desperation clear in his voice. “If you know where he is, you know what state he is in. He needs me.”

Heimdall paused before answering. “He is still in Asgard.”

“Thank you,” Thor said, turning back as he was about to leave the bifrost.

“But do not pursue him, Thor. His state is indeed fragile. Wait for him. He will go to you when he is ready.”

Thor turned back for a moment, thinking of protesting, but when he looked into Heimdall’s eyes he just nodded. He knew that he was right. After learning what Loki did, Thor knew he would need time to come around. So, Thor rode back through the city, returned the horse to the stables, and walked around the palace grounds until he reached the back. He sat himself in the shade of the building, his back propped up against a wall, and he waited.

He sat cross-legged in the grass for hours as the day turned to a fiery sunset and then extinguished into night. Sleep sunk its fingers into him but he fought it off. He told himself, as he did as a child, that he was stronger than sleep. He would prevail because his brother needed him and he would be awake for when Loki arrived. 

As strong as Thor liked to believe he was, sleep takes all in the end. His head leaned back against the hard wall as consciousness left him. He didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep until light brushed over his eyes, painting the insides of his eyelids with a warm orange glow. He straightened out, shifting his body until he was sitting up as he opened his eyes to the morning sun. 

He stretched out his aching muscles when he noticed that there was a knitted blanket spread across his lap. He scanned the area for whoever left it and saw a figure with his back to him, sitting just a few feet away as he watched the sunrise. Thor stood up and approached his brother before sitting down again beside him.

“Good to see you awake,” Loki said without turning to look at him.

“It’s just good to see you, brother,” Thor replied, looking at Loki before turning to stare with him at the horizon.

“We’re not brothers. Not truly.”

“We may not share blood but we’re still brothers.”

“After I left your room, I wasn’t sure of where to go so I followed my instinct. I ended up in the vault with my hands on the Casket.” Loki finally turned to look at Thor, who readily met his gaze. “My skin. It…”

Thor’s eyes became distant as he traveled back to when they were children. He was a little boy again, staring at his brother who had the appearance of a monster. “It turned blue. And your eyes were red like blood.”

Loki turned a shade paler when he heard the words from Thor’s mouth. “How…”

“I’ve known what you are for a very long time, Loki,” Thor admitted, shifting his gaze to his fidgeting hands. He could feel Loki’s eyes burning into him, pressing for answers.  
“And you chose to tell me now? How long, Thor?”

“Since we were children,” Thor said, forcing himself to look Loki in the eye. He deserved that much. “You had a sleepwalking habit. Almost every night you left our room to go somewhere and one night I followed. You were being drawn to the Casket. I saw you touch it, I saw you change, and I was scared. 

“You looked just as Father described the Jotun in his tales. I thought you a monster. But you are my brother too. I loved you and hated you at the same time and it conflicted within me every time I would look at you but I couldn’t tell you.”

Loki’s eyes were wide and wet and his mouth was curled into a poorly concealed frown. “Why couldn’t you?” he asked in a slightly broken voice.

Thor reached out to him but Loki jerked away. He paused at the reaction and dropped his hand back in his lap. “I know not why. I told myself it was to protect you. You didn’t need to know such things. If Father had not yet told you, I had no place to. But as I think on it now, it was a selfish action. As long as this knowledge stayed secret, I could believe it wasn’t true. But it is. I accept that now and I care not.”

“But you hated me. I am a monster. I remember those words uttered by you more than once.”

An expression of great shame consumed his face. He reached out once more and rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “And for ever thinking such a thing, I am mortified. You are my brother, every part of you, and I love you dearly.”

“I know you mean these words, Thor,” Loki said, turning his whole body toward him. “But I still feel angry that this has been kept from me for so long.”

“As you have every right to be,” Thor replied, dropping his arm as he turned to meet him. “For all my faults, and for all yours, I just want you to know that you will always be equal to me. In my eyes, there is none wiser nor with more wit. You are strong where I am weak, brother. You are truly my other half.”

Loki stared hard at Thor, betraying nothing, until he lurched forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Thor’s neck. Thor was deeply surprised but he was more than happy to accept his hug as he wrapped his own arms around Loki’s torso in a crushing show of affection. He stood up with Loki still in his embrace and set him down once he was steady on his feet. Loki looked to be appreciative for a breath of air but glanced up at Thor with a small smile.

“Thank you, brother,” he said.

Thor grinned widely, realizing it was the first time Loki called him that since he learned what he was. He had the urge to hug him once more but he decided his brother wouldn’t be too pleased. Instead, he settled for clapping him on the back before wrapping an arm around his shoulders to lead him back to the palace.

“Come along, brother. Mother has been very worried about you. She didn’t believe I would find you.”

“You didn’t find me,” Loki said as they walked around to the front doors.

“Trivial details,” Thor replied with a shrug.

The front guards opened the entrance for them and both of their laughs could be heard, even as the heavy doors were pulled closed behind them.


	6. Epilogue

~A Few Months Later~

The crowd packed tightly into the golden throne room roared as Thor walked down the aisle toward the steps of the throne. Odin sat ready, knowing the words he would have to say by heart in order to pass the crown down to his son. Thor raised Mjolnir in the air as he walked, causing the crowds shrieks to increase in volume. Pride and joy welled inside of him at the moment, only increased when he saw his mother and brother standing on the steps, there to support him on his coronation day.

When he finally reached the steps, Thor knelt down before them and removed his polished winged helm. He set both it and Mjolnir on the ground in front of him and looked up at his father. The crowd was still cheering on their soon-to-be-king but they immediately silenced once Odin moved to begin the ceremony. The All-Father showed no emotion on his face but when he spoke, he spoke loudly, clearly, and commanded the attention of all.

“Thor Odinson, my heir, my first born. So long entrusted with the mighty hammer, Mjolnir, forged in the heart of a dying star. Its power has no equal! It's a weapon to destroy or as a tool to build. It is a fit companion for a king. I have defended Asgard and the lives of the innocent across my realms in the time of the great beginning.

”Do you swear to guard the nine realms?”

”I swear.”

”And do you swear to preserve the peace?”

”I swear.”

”Do you swear to cast aside your selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the realms?”

”I swear!”

”Then on this day, I Odin, All-Father, will proclaim you king!”

The crowd thundered to life once more, their shouts merging into one all-encompassing sound. Thor grabbed his hammer before walking up the steps to stand at the top in front of the throne. His people stood from the seats and cheered.

Thor turned to look at his mother and brother. His mother had tears in her eyes and Loki wore an encouraging smile. With a wave of his hand, he beckoned Loki to him. He shook his head, an act made more laborious due to the golden horns atop his head. Unable to take no for an answer, Thor ran back down the steps and grabbed hold of Loki’s arm, pulling him back to the top with him. 

He wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulders and raised the one with Mjolnir back in the air with a shout of triumph, playing into the crowd’s excitement. They mirrored his cry by tenfold as the sons of Odin stood before the throne, smiles on their faces at the sea of people cheering for their new king and his most trusted advisor.


End file.
